Television - RK Narayan

An extract from RK Narayan’s My Dateless Diary, a summary of his experiences during his first visit to US.


At first you may naively think what a wonder Television is. But alas, it is only a sales-medium. Every programme serves only as an excuse for sandwiching messages about haircream, cigarette, soap, and automobile; health, wealth, wisdom, and happiness, according to the character on the Television screen are to be attained only by inhaling the smoke of such and such cigarette which has the distinction of having fifty thousand filters (whatever it may mean, but it prevents lung cancer about which the medical profession has chosen to make so much fuss) – all adjectives are used in support of it, all music is subservient to it, and all acting, personality, dramaturgy, is a message-bearer.

In times of War all talent is pressed for propaganda. In peace all talent (the television could make the highest bid) is pressed for sales-service.

I feel a violent jolt when a narrator who earns our respect otherwise suddenly interrupts his performance to step aside to say,
‘I want to tell you about the cigarette which I most enjoy smoking. It is … remember …’ and then he spells and repeats it. Or the tragedienne of classic dimensions suddenly goes off to say, ‘You may wonder why I care for … soap …’ and then goes on to spell the name of this profound soap. Perpetration of such a violence to the sacredness of artistic illusions makes one furious – out of that fury the following scene is written:

One Continuous Mood

SCENE: (Dark night. A lonely cottage. Wind whistling outside. An old woman is warming her soup over the fireplace. Knock on the door).

O.W. (Old Woman): Who is it? At this unearthly hour.
Voice: Sh! Sh! Open the door, matter of life and death!
O.W.: I won’t open the door.
Voice: Please, save my life. Don’t delay. (Distant baying of hounds). There they are. Open the door. (The old woman shakes her head and tries to go on with her soup).
Voice: By the way, I can hear you drinking your soup. Remember one thing. XYZ soup is reinforced with vitamin B14. It is the only soup with vitamin B14. Remember it. B14 will knock the years out of your age.
Voice: (As the baying of dogs approaches) Good woman, do you like to see my body mangled at your very doorstep?
O.W.: No, go, go away, do not disturb me. (Suddenly the dogs are right at her door. Several voices are heard. She listens intently to the various sounds. She pushes away her soup bowl, wringing her hands.) Perhaps he really needs help … Oh, God save that poor man! (She tiptoes to the door, and with her hand on the latch pauses for a moment and says:) My hands are soft because I use only Gopi Flakes for laundering my linen. Gopi also can wash your silks, your sink, your utensils, your walls, your furniture, floor, carpet, shoes or automobile. In fact, Gopi is right for any cleaning job. Gopi cleans twenty-five times faster than any other detergent and costs five times less. Remember Gopi is the only one which has Blimol in it.

(At this moment the man outside hurls himself against the door and crashes in. The old woman is thrown off, but luckily supports herself by putting her hands out and catching the wall)

O.W.: What do you mean by this?
Visitor: (Who has a cloak around his head) I am sorry, terribly sorry. I will repair your door for you.
O.W.: (Surveying the man) Who are you? Are you a thief or a renegade? You look fierce enough with that beard of yours.
Visitor: (Stroking his beard thoughtfully and finally taking it off) You see it is false. My enemies are after me.
O.W.: You may rest in that corner.

(Darkness falls on the house; the man sits hunched up at the door waiting for his friends. He falls asleep and wakes up at dawn. The old woman enters.)

O.W.: Oh, you still here! (The visitor wakes up and yawns.)
Visitor: One reason why I prefer Watterrwet Towels is that they are soft, soft like the petals of a rose. They are in several pastel shades – one for each day of the week, packed in -. (He flourishes a glittering package.)
O.W.: I have to go out for a while. (The old woman picks up her mop and bucket.) Watch that kettle. Take it down when the water boils.
Visitor: I will. (At this moment, clatter of horses’ hoofs is heard. The old woman has just opened the door.)
Someone outside: Who is inside?
O.W.: (Trying to shut the door) No one.
Horseman: He must be here. Do you know who he is?
Horsemen: The rebels are busy pillaging the place. They have announced a price – on Your Majesty’s head. Let us rush away. (The old woman is aghast on hearing the word ‘Majesty’, and kneels down)
Visitor: (Giving her a ring) You have been good to me. Keep it. Goodbye, I must go now. (The men march out and get the horses ready. H.M. rushes out, but pauses at the door to say:) There are three reasons why I prefer Stonebreak Soap. First, it is the cleanest soap in the market. Two, it is the only soap which can make your worn-out skin glow again, and three, it never slips through your wet fingers.

(More horsemen arrive.)

King’s friends: (Cry in unison) We are lost, they have found us. But we will fight. (Swords are drawn. It is difficult to see who is who in this melee. You hear the clash of swords, and groans of the wounded as they fall to the ground.)
O.W.: Ah, bloody sight! In my poor cottage! (She edges her way to where the King is fighting with his back to the wall. She carries the kettle of boiling water and pours it down the neck of the man who has cornered the King; the man leaps up. The King knocks him down, kneels over his chest, ready to run his sword through him.)
King: If you are thinking of a nice birthday present for your daughter, give her a Sissy Tractor, which is the only one with a built-in Dish Washer. Run it on your field; it’ll plow the earth. Set it up in the kitchen; it’ll wash your dishes. No down payment, no up-payment. In fact, no payment at all. Take the tractor, use it, when it’s worn out, bring it back and we will give you another. Remember, for your child’s birthday, a Sissy Tractor!
Fallen man: Take away your sword. I’ll tell you.
King: Yes, speak.
Fallen man: About your children.
King: (With sword at his heart) Oh, what about them? Tell me, tell me soon.
O.W.: (To the audience) Bad breath is instantly abolished if you use Breatho pulls; the cost works out to ¼ cent each hour. It’s the most scientific anitiodour pill ever made.
King: Oh, tell me about my children. Are they safe?
Man: They were intercepted, and they are now in our custody. If you do not surrender before mid-day they will be …
King: Oh stop; don’t say the word.
Man: I know where they are. I’ll take you there.
King: And also collect your reward; you will get your reward and I shall lose my head, h’m?
Man: (Embarrassed) I suppose so, Your Majesty. For that headache that never stops, take Pancita 606. Pancita 606 gives 32 times faster relief than others.

(The old woman bursts into tears. All the King’s followers go out mutely. The man leads the King out gleefully.)

King: All our yesterdays have lighted fools their dusty way to death. One word more. Porcupine underwear keeps you cool in summer and warm in winter. Look for Porcupine underwear wherever you go.

***

[Books] 2014 - The year that was - Part IV

Continued from here.

The Shining – Stephen King
Ever since I first heard about The Shining, I stayed away from all the discussions/mentions of the book/movie so that it doesn’t spoil my reading experience. I’m kinda paranoid like that – I refuse to even read the back cover before starting a book. All I can say is that it is worth the wait. It gave me heebie-jeebies and it gets scary from page 20 or so. That’s 600+ pages worth of scary reading. Absolutely amazing! I’ll just leave this one quote from the book as it reminds me of my college life where we had to come up with creative abuses on our internal IM chats so as to escape the filters – (and also because we are were staunch believers of creativity instead of the everyday rote)

The workman cut to the left, still laying on his horn, and roared around the drunkenly weaving limousine. He invited the driver of the limo to perform an illegal sex act on himself. To engage in oral congress with various rodents and birds. He articulated his own proposal that all persons of Negro blood return to their native continent. He expressed his sincere belief in the position the limo-driver's soul would occupy in the afterlife. He finished by saying that he believed he had met the limo-driver's mother in a New Orleans house of prostitution.

Rating – 4/5

Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
I first heard about this book nearly couple of yrs ago I mentioned somewhere that I liked Ken Follet’s The Key to Rebecca and a friend mentioned that Rebecca is a pretty good book too. It has one of the most famous first lines – “Last night I dreamt that I went to Manderley again”. The first 100 pages made me feel that the book should be titled Manderley instead. Also, aren't Manderlys a loyal Stark banner men in ASOIAF? Sorry, I digress. The prose is beautiful, the descriptions of the Manderley were great and the narrative from the unnamed, err, narrator, is free flowing. The book gets a bit dull in the middle section – I mean, one can take only so much about extensive descriptions about a place. I also felt the narrator to be a bit weak of character, though I may have to take her young age into consideration and excuse it. The final 100 pages are thrilling through. I didn’t watch the movie and I had no idea what the book was about, so I liked the ending. Not sure the same can be said of others. Even if you know the story, give the book a read though. The language is simply beautiful and is rare to see among current authors. 4/5

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that can’t stop Talking – Susan Cain
The title of the book came across a bit too strong but the content is pretty mild. It's not self-help at all. Target audience is US where people are mostly extroverted (the society as a whole) compared to the eastern part of the world which comes across a bit introverted. Though that is quite generalizing a bit too much. The initial chapters were vexing as there were too bludy many examples of extrovertism and introvertism. Author advises the reader to take Carl Jung test for personality traits though I'm not really up to date how relevant these tests are these days (read a little bit the other day about conflicts between Jung and Freud). As the book goes on, the content becomes more readable. The author confesses to growing up as an introvert and with the American way of life leaning more towards extrovertism (presentation more important than content, colleges want students to be outgoing, weekends are filled with camping or partying yada yada), this book comes as her analysis on introverts and how their skills can be utilized better. Seriously I can't be the only one who hates group work (especially when team work is more like this) and runs away from all "fun events" at workplace? Anyway, that makes it 4 women authors for my 2014 (along with Patricia Highsmith and Mme Christie). 3 stars for the book and an extra star for the research. 4/5

Appointment with Death – Agatha Christie
What the fricking hell was that? I hate, I absolutely hate it when the clues are deliberately kept away from the reader and the mystery is solved magically when the detective (Poirot here) comes up with completely new information in the end. I'm as pissed off as Jack Black was in School of Rock and I really want to stick it to the man. 2/5

Eye of the Needle – Ken Follet
Another book which pissed me off no end. This was supposed to be one of the most acclaimed works of Follet but the ending was such a big letdown. If I wanted to read super heroes I'd read Stan Lee's Marvels comics instead. I can't even abuse the characters without giving away the plot so I'll just stick to making angry grunts at my desk instead. Follet, there was such a big scope but in the end, u iz a big disappoint. 3/5

Slaughterhouse-5 – Kurt Vonnegut
The book started with a beginning and it finished with an end. In between all this there was the middle. So it goes. Billy Pilgrim was at Dresden during its bombing in World War II. Or maybe he wasn't. So it goes. Billy Pilgrim was abducted by aliens. Or, [breaks the statement and stares at everyone with a pointed finger like Ross Geller], maybe he wasn't. So it goes. I heard a lot about the book. I read the book completely in a few hrs. I am yet to come to any conclusion as to whether I like it or not. But hey, so it goes. It has underlying sarcasm but it is not continuous like Catch-22. I didn't feel like it was a full-on satire on war. It is a short book at less than 200 pages so give it a read and form your own opinion. I think I definitely need a re-read though. So it goes. 3/5

The Curious Case of Dog in the Night Time – Mark Haddon
I liked the puzzles. I liked the narration. I liked how the author used a kid with Asperger's syndrome as protagonist and showed the world in his eyes. This makes even the scenes with unemotional narration come out as pretty emotional for the readers. There are not many references to actual Holmes stories though – maybe a couple at the max. I found the book short and endearing. *sniff* 4/5

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? – Philip K. Dick
I heard a lot about PKD and how he's considered part of Sci-Fi trinity along with Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke. The book has been on my to-read shelf for more than a year and once I completed Aldous Huxley’s A Brave New World, GR kept suggesting this one to me every time I logged in. I found the title interesting – it seems to refer to a world where human intelligence reaches the peaks of developing human-like robots (humanoids?) and once we reach that stage, what are the moral values of these humanoids? Are they bound by same moral laws as humans? (now that we come to this part, what moral values are we bound by?) Pretty fascinating read for me, though there is not much world building from PKD. The first half of the book was more like the adventures of a bounty hunter but once it reaches the end, the moral questions of the book’s title come forth. 3.5/5

[Books] 2014 - The year that was - Part III

Continued from here.

Parnasala - Y Veerendranath. Have to admit that I never really warmed up to this author. He’s pretty highly rated but I have scarred memories from high school when I went through one of his self-improvement books (looking at you too, Shiv Khera). He is criticized for lifting a lot of parts from foreign books and his writing style is not smooth. He’s too melodramatic. He uses archaic Telugu in some places and full English words at other places unnecessarily. Of course several of his novels were made into successful movies but give me Malladi Krishnamurthy (only read two of his – Chantabbay, Rendu Rellu Aaru) any day over him. I’m gonna give him one final chance though – will pick up the highly rated Tulasi Dalam some time this year and if that disappoints, then I’m gonna stay away from all his books. 2/5

A Brave New World - Aldous Huxley. Grim, morose, disturbing, dark, scary, depressing, horrific, distressing. Huxley’s dystopian novel deals with the future where women are no longer viviparous (first encountered the word here), human birth is all done through surrogates (I suppose the equivalent of ‘alcohol in his blood surrogate’ is our very own ‘were you dropped on your head?’), people undergo hypnopaedic lessons as children, adults get soma-induced holidays and a host of other things (“play” school – dayyum!). First chapter has too many technical details about the Hatcheries and Conditioning Centre. But once you cross that, the story is interesting at least till the halfway stage. It is of course unavoidable to compare and contrast this with George Orwell’s 1984. Bernard Marx initially gave me the impression of Winston Smith (someone who feels like an outsider in the society) and there was so much potential to make Lenina Crowne as Julia but it’s a pity they didn’t turn out like that. Around half of the book after the halfway stage felt a bit weak – though I’m not sure if that’s an emotion or an analysis. Or if it’s an analysis by subconscious mind which the conscious can only recognize as a ‘feeling’ – maybe that’s what rational emotion means? The book picks up strongly in the final chapters though but Huxley took Mr. Savage a bit too far into the opposite extreme. And surprisingly the World Controller Mustapha Mond didn’t really sound like O’Brien in 1984. I suppose true test of insanity depends on how much one agrees with Mond’s views in the end. Oh also, coccyx – another word I first read here. The 2nd part of the book has several pages dedicated to Shakespeare (and the title is obviously taken from a verse in Tempest). Special recommendation for poetry enthusiasts! 4/5

Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson – Final Empire, Well of Ascension, Hero of Ages
I can see why Brandon Sanderson took over WoT series. His writing is pretty good, the story moves fast and there is a lot of magic. I liked the connection between magic and metals – allomancy. The first book can be read as standalone as there is no cliffhanger in the end. The climax may be fairly predictable but the real story starts in the 2nd book. I was bored till halfway of Well of Ascension as there was less magic and more narration (and the budding romance between Vin and Elend - bleurgh). The final book is where everything unravels. I can understand the criticism that the final part is a bit repetitive but it’s a problem only if you've finished the series in a week. For those who religiously followed the books over 3 yrs, there was probably a necessity to retell some parts from previous books to refresh their memory. I heard there’s a 4th one – Alloy of Law – which is set 300 yrs later. That trilogy includes 2 more books to be finished in 2016. And Sanderson is writing 36 novels all set in Cosmere, under which Mistborn is a little part. Oh great, who needs social life anyway? 4/5

Bartimaeus series by Jonathan Stroud – Amulet of Samarkand, Golem’s Eye, Ptolemy’s Gate, Ring of Solomon
Adventures of smart arse djinni and its master. Bartimaeus parts are hilarious and if the series had only those chapters, I’d have given it a 8/5 rating. But I had to endure Kitty and Nathaniel (most of those were boring in Golem’s Eye), uff. Nathaniel transforms from smart yet innocent kid in Amulet of Samarkand to cocky and proud minister in Ptolemy’s Gate and irritated the heck out of me. But Barty, oh my, what a wisecracking djinni! The first three books were good and the final one was something like a prequel but it’s not necessary to read it to follow the story line of actual trilogy. But Ring of Solomon has Bartimaeus extensively so it was a fun read too. All the Twilight brigade should give those up and pick up Bartimaeus instead under Young Adult category. Whenever he says "I’m Bartimaeus of Uruk, Sakhr-Al Djinni, Serpent of the Silver Plumes!" I roared. I hope Jonathan Stroud writes more standalone books including the adventures of Bartimaeus. 4/5

Airframe - Michael Crichton. Breathtaking. Unputdownable. After a couple of dull Crichton books (Prey, Sphere, Andromeda Strain – not bad, but a bit average), I'm glad to come across this one by luck. I gifted this to my sister for Rakhi and she lent me the same recently as I ran out of books. Btw, it made me hate media even more (if that is even possible) – not everyone, just the ones who are after TRPs and try to make everything sound sensational. Those who focus less on the actual content and more on manipulating it – umm alright, that makes it almost everyone. 4.5/5

Dilbert Principle - Scott Adams. The Bible. Was written nearly two decades ago but I was nodding profusely for every single line. I read a review which said that the book comes across as condescending but I think Adams got the tone just right. He starts the book by saying everyone’s an idiot and give an example of his own stupidity. On initial thoughts it seems tailor made for IT employees, but it is applicable in all places where there is – vision, business statement, mission statement, quality teams, cubicles, disgruntled employees, stupid managers, emails, trackers, employee engagement activities, human resources, reward programs, downsizing, diversity, offshore, etc. I take back my words from previous para where I said Dilbert Principle is a serious book – it isn't. It’s a hilarious read for those who like self-deprecating humor. 5/5

Guns of Navarone - Alistair MacLean. If you can plod through the first 100 pages, it’s a brilliant book. I usually struggle at the start of MacLean novels before I understand the context of the err, expedition. But after that, it’s a very pacy read. I heard there’s a brilliant movie too – but that has to wait while I swim in the genius of MacLean. The 2nd half is some extremely impressive story telling. I screamed huzzah!when it ended. 4.5/5

Lord of the Flies William Golding – I know Animal Farm is one of the best allegorical novels ever written but this has to rank up there among the best surely. A bunch of schoolboys are plane wrecked on an uninhabited island and the book traces the deterioration of their society. My reaction flow through the book – meh kids --> what stupid kids --> are you insane? --> OMG, NOT HIM TOO! --> you fucking savages* --> damn you all to hell. The final page of the book has “wept for the end of innocence” – what beautiful and poignant line! I was able to relate each character to what they were supposed to represent, except maybe the conch. Had to refer to Wiki for that. I miscalculated my reading speed and went out of town on a weekend with only this book in hand – got the chance to read it twice within two days. All’s well. 4.5/5

* not related to Savage from A Brave New World

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[Books] 2014 - The year that was - Part II

Continued from here.

Where Eagles Dare - Alistair MacLean. How have I not read MacLean before? The man is a genius. I think I started this after a couple of Forsyth novels so I was continuing the British vs Germany spy stuff. The story is pretty pacy, the narration style makes it thrilling and I imagined the protagonist (Major Smith?) as Rowan Atkinson in Blackadder goes Forth, which further enhanced my reading pleasure. There are once again, double crosses, double-double crosses, double agents, triple agents, confusing agents, etc. Such a pleasure to read spy stuff with barely any romantic content (Ian Fleming, take note wherever you are) and still exhilarating enough to keep the reader engrossed in the book. Lovely debut for MacLean (I mean not his first novel but the first I read by him) after my troubling experiences with other popular authors. 4.5/5

Ice Station Zebra - MacLean. Britain’s Artic ice station seems to be in trouble and there is barely any response to radio communication. There’s an advanced submarine being sent to rescue them but a man who calls himself a specialist doctor on human behavior in extreme weather conditions wants to be on onboard. What happened to the ice station? Is this doctor who he claims to be? Who are the moles and what’s their motivation? Can it all be resolved in time? The scientific stuff about submarine went over my head as usual but the story is thrilling like always. Don’t think there’s any female character. 3.5/5

HMS Ulysses - MacLean. If the submarine stuff in Ice Station Zebra was confusing, imagine my plight when reading HMS Ulysses. Of course, there’s no one to blame except me – whenever I pick a book from an author I never read before, I tend to go on a marathon of his/her books. My initial search of HMS Ulysses at regular spots actually gave me James Joyce’s Ulysses, which I realized only after reading a couple of pages. Then fortunately I found the one I wanted. I struggled a lot to understand the technical stuff but the story - I did get that! Book is pretty realistic and there’s absolutely no feel good factor in this. Gives you the stark narration of sailors lives aboard a war ship. Felt sorry for a few characters in the end. I can’t believe this is MacLean’s debut novel – pretty crisp writing. 3.5/5

Bapu Cartoons I & II – I was in two minds whether to include this in this list coz the books are a collection of several cartoons from Bapu. To the uninitiated, Bapu is like our version of RK Narayan – multi talented creative genius. The news of his death saddened me and I had to buy his books to go through his genius once more. Though he’s drawn several thousand cartoons, the collection can accommodate only a few of those. The cartoons contain wit, sarcasm, lighthearted humour, satire on politics, caricatures of people and of course a few from Budugu series (written by MV Ramana, his friend for 60 yrs – our version of Calvin or as his detractors refer to it: copy of Dennis the Menace). I miss the Bapu-Ramana duo :(. 4.5/5

The Prestige - Christopher Priest. I have a fascination with the books which got adapted to successful movies. I watched Nolan’s movie starring Bale, Jackman and Johansson (*drools*) several yrs ago and apart from them both being magicians I don’t remember a thing – which is good, btw. There’s very less narration from an outsider pov and the book is mostly a collection of entries from diaries of Angier and Borden, as read by their great grand kids. Ever since I read Cecilia Ahern’s Where Rainbows End (don’t judge me, I was forced into it), I have a unhealthy scare of books written completely as collection of letters or diary entries. Thankfully, it isn't that bad. But the climax was a bit iffy, details of magic work better on screen compared to narration, some parts get kinda boring and I have a feeling that the movie worked out better than the book in the end. 3/5

Foundation heptalogy - Isaac Asimov. Posted separately here. Series rating - 4.5/5.

Kothi Kommachi - MV Ramana. This is the first part of MV Ramana’s autobiography which came out as serialized in Telugu magazine Swathi a few yrs prior to his passing. I love the language he uses! It details his childhood, his struggles in Madras, his life as a journalist, his interviews with Bhanumathi R and NTR, Radio Annayya/Akkayya, his first story (during school), eminent personalities he’s met working as a journalist, his entry to movies, etc. Luckily for him, he’s worked through the golden cultural period and reading this made me want to buy all the books I’ve been wanting to read since school. And of course Bapu shadows him everywhere (they met when they were 14 and the friendship continued till Ramana passed away at 82 couple of yrs ago). Will take up the 2nd and 3rd parts some time this year. 4/5

God’s Debris - Scott Adams. I thought Dilbert Principle was the most serious of all Scott Adams’ works (I only skimmed through a few pages in a book shop). I was wrong – he’s written something on philosophy called God’s Debris. Of course I can’t say that this is completely about philosophy – I think Adams himself says that this is somewhere between fiction and non fiction. Recommended by a fellow bibliophile, I finished this book in a few hours (only 140 pages) – though it’s supposed to be read slowly allowing the reader to take in the essence. There are some fascinating points mentioned in the book, especially about free will, socializing (err, talk about people rather than ideas) and intelligence vs awareness. I have a trouble with the concept of God’s debris though. But next time someone mentions Alchemist, I’m gonna propose God’s Debris. Trying to find its sequel now – Religion War. Friendly advice: 4/5 (when sober). 5/5 (when drunk)

My Dateless Diary - RK Narayan. I was rummaging through my dad’s shelf coz my mom’s been nagging me to arrange the books neatly (“you two guys are absolutely hopeless in keeping the house clean”) and found this gem of a book gifted by my grampa to my dad during his college. Nostalgic! (of course I wasn’t there then). The back cover said it’s part travelogue, part diary and part collection of Narayan’s thoughts on his first visit to the US. It immediately reminded me of The Inscrutable Americans and Barrister Parvatheesam (“an Indian’s first visit to US and his experiences”) but of course it’s nothing like those two. Narayan’s not called a genius for nothing. The very first page itself where he details his breakfast experiences got me interested in the book and the story simply flowed after that. There’s an absolutely amazing view point on television, which I completely concur with nearly 5 decades later (TV’s a waste of space). Extras: RK Narayan meets Aldous Huxley and Greta Garbo. He also wrote the much acclaimed The Guide during this stay in US. Confession: this is the first complete book by RK Narayan that I’ve read. 4/5

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[Books] 2014 - The year that was - Part I

85 books in total. Full list of books I read here.

Writing reviews for all 85 is taking too long. Wrote for nearly one-third for now. Hoping to finish everything by mid-Jan.

I am Zlatan - Poor translation but a very entertaining read. Don't really prefer reading biographies of players who haven't retired but Zlatan's is an exception. It details his life in Rosengard and how his career progressed from Malmo FF to AC Milano through Ajax Amsterdam, Juventus, Inter Milano and Barcelona. It's a pity the book ends before his move to PSG. Good read for football fans. 4/5

I Think, Therefore I Play - biography of Italian footballer Andrea Pirlo. I already broke my vow with Zlatan's and then another friend shared Pirlo's biography saying it's a must read. The book is short with content covering hardly 70-80 pages but what a book it was! Right from the first page, I was in tears. Probably the funniest biography I've ever read. The book doesn't include too many details about his childhood or even his playing days. It's more like sitting with Pirlo having a Scotch and cigar on a winter evening talking about random stuff that he went through. I wish he writes a book every year.c4/5

The Green Mile - Stephen King. Don't bother, watch the movie starring Tom Hanks instead. I have the terrible luck of starting a popular and acclaimed author's works with probably their most underwhelming novel. It happened with Agatha Christie (Sparkling Cyanide), Sidney Sheldon (Stranger in the Mirror), Stephen King (this), Michael Crichton (Timeline), Jeffrey Archer (Paths of Glory). Green Mile is a serialized novel with 6 parts with each one covering 70-75 pages each. I dunno how people read it back then when you had to wait for the each successive part to release after a while but when I read all 6 together, I found the story to be extremely slow paced. First part tells about a brutal crime and the criminal John Coffey getting sent to a state penitentiary. And then, not much happens in next parts. I expected it to be a racy thriller with lots of action, mystery, horror (Stephen King, after all), etc but not much stuff happens. Don't really recommend reading it. 3/5

Strangers on a Train - Patricia Highsmith. Recommended by the book club I'm part of, I took this up during a weekend but it took me nearly two days to finish it. Expected it to be an unputdownable-burn-the-midnight-oil-till-it's-dawn kinda book but I took a lot of breaks in between just to get away from the characters. Two strangers Guy Haines and Charles Bruno meet on a train and there's a plan to kill for each other so that suspicion won't fall on the respective guys (police won't be able to find a motive). Charles was constantly drunk and Guy spends more time in his head than Raskolnikov (I had to wiki his name) in Crime and Punishment. Extremely vexing read and when the book finally ended, I screamed "Hallelujah, glory be to the Old Gods, the Seven, R'hllor and the God of Many Faces!" 2/5

The Great Indian Novel - Shashi Tharoor. During the (g)olden days when I regularly read The Hindu (lost the habit now), Ramachandra Guha and Shashi Tharoor were my favorite writers. I first heard of this book during one of the Literary quizzes. Based on recommendations there, I immediately bought the book. It's a brilliant book, written in 1989, intertwining Mahabharata with the Indian freedom struggle and later national politics. So we read the Indian history from late 19th century through early 1980s like the story of Mahabharata. Constantly through the book I was reminded of Mrs. Miggins' giggle and her words in Blackadder - III: Oh you've a way with words, Mr. Shelley. Tharoor is a brilliant writer and he's so good with words that I even read the poems that occasionally come in between. Must read. 4.5/5

Govinda - Krishna Udayasankar. Like Amish fictionalized the Shiva trilogy, Krishna decided to fictionalize the Mahabharata. This is the first of the Aryavarta Chronicles and I guess the series is supposed to be a trilogy. The book deals with the start of Mahabharata (Satyavrata, Ved Vyas, Bhishm etc) till the crowning of Yudhishtir. Author tried to write too similarly to Amish and hence the book ends up with Panchali/Draupadi sounding a lot like Sati in Shiva trilogy. There are a lot of things I don't like but listing them would be spoilers for others so I'll refrain. Just one rant though, as I have to get it off my chest: I've read my first Mahabharata when I was 7 and since then, I've read several versions but in no version did I read Panchali and Krishna (neither the author nor me) being lovers. All through the book, this point was constantly nagging in my mind which didn't let me enjoy the book as much as it deserved. I only picked up as I found it lying in my room (all my roomies vehemently denied having ever owned it or even seen it) and since I ran out of books, I picked it up. Now I'll have to finish the series :|. Noticed the 2nd part Kaurava being available in flipkart for only 200 bucks but I just can't find myself to spend any money on it :/. On the positive side: the story flows smoothly. It doesn't get boring any where. 3/5

The Great Train Robbery - Michael Crichton. Book describes in detail the audacious train robbery of 1855. There's also a movie starring Sean Connery & Sutherland based on the same book. This is everything the Green Mile is not - a pulsating page turner. There's not a single chapter where I felt like skimming the lines. I could hardly relate to the story as it was set in Victorian times but Crichton doesn't bore with too many unnecessary details. He keeps the narrative strong, builds each character and leaves a little something after every chapter which makes you look forward to the next. It was so good I finished it in just two nights. When I started reading, I was slightly put off with the Victorian details but the story kept flowing and I couldn't simply put the book down. 4/5


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