What exactly is inflation?
Inflation is one of the several indexes used to judge a country's economy. Inflation provides or indicates how weak a country's economy is.
Why is it necessary?
Just as Gross Domestic Product (GDP) is used to indicate the progress of a country's economy, the inflation index is used to show the weakness or instability of a country's economy.
What is the current situation?
At the end of the week preceding the publication of this post, inflation in India is around 11.9% which is a huge figure. For an ideal growth-oriented economy, the GDP is above 7-8% and inflation is around 3-4%. SO, what does this 11.89 % indicate? It pretty much means that the country's economy is unstable at present. There are several reasons for the rise in inflation, most of which are not in the hands of the Indian government. The reasons include rise in crude oil prices, crash of global markets, etc.
11.89% is the highest in 13 years according to various sources. Last time it happened was in 1995-96 during which India was in a position of political turmoil with 3 Prime Ministers in 6 months (Deve Gowda, IK Gujral and AB Vajpayee). The inflation was around 20% (the highest in the history of Independent India) during the dark days of Emergency imposed by Indira Gandhi (1975-77). These incidents show that inflation also depends on the political stability of a country. And in such cases, it is possible for the government to control the rising inflation.
What are the effects of inflation?
Inflation leads to the increase of prices of the essential commodities like vegetables, grains, cement, books, etc because of which the middle class people are heavily affected. Rich class people can afford the increased prices and the people below the poverty line stop buying the higher-cost commodities and adjust with the lower cost ones. But the middle-class people cannot stop buying the goods (their pride wont allow them to). So, they are forced to dish out more money from their pockets.
What can the government do?
More often than not, the governments have few choices left. The only major thing any government can do is to give subsidies, decrease the price of the commodities and pay for the losses to the traders. It is generally the case where some traders take this as an opportunity and divert the available goods to black markets and create a pseudo shortage because of which the prices shoot up. The government should also make sure that this doesn't happen.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Instant Messenger Survival Guide
Not sure what all these acronyms stand for – and feel stupid asking? Here’s some you may have seen .. and a few you probably haven’t.
AFAIC as far as I am concerned
AISI as I see it
AOL assholes on line
ASAP as soon as possible
AWGTHTGTTA are we going to have to go through this again
B4 before
BCNU be seeing you
BFD big fucking deal
BOT back on topic
BT byte this
BTW by the way
BTWBO be there with bells on
CMF count my fingers
CTC choking the chicken
CUL catch you later
CWYL chat with you later
FWIW for what its worth
FYM for your misinformation
GIWIST gee, I wish I'd said that
GR&D grinning, running and ducking
HAK hugs and kisses
HHOK ha ha only kidding
HTH hope that helps
IAC in any case
IAO I am outtahere
IBCNU I’ll be seeing you
IITYWMWYKM If I tell you what that means will you kiss me
L8R later
LOL laugh out loud
LTIP laugh till I puke
NPN no reply necessary
OBTW oh by the way
OMIK open mouth insert keyboard
PITA pain in the ass
RML read my lips
ROTFL rolling on the floor laughing
SH shit happens
TFN thanks for nuthin’
TIC tongue in cheek
TISEC tongue in someone else’s cheek
VI village idiot
YGBK you gotta be kidding
AFAIC as far as I am concerned
AISI as I see it
AOL assholes on line
ASAP as soon as possible
AWGTHTGTTA are we going to have to go through this again
B4 before
BCNU be seeing you
BFD big fucking deal
BOT back on topic
BT byte this
BTW by the way
BTWBO be there with bells on
CMF count my fingers
CTC choking the chicken
CUL catch you later
CWYL chat with you later
FWIW for what its worth
FYM for your misinformation
GIWIST gee, I wish I'd said that
GR&D grinning, running and ducking
HAK hugs and kisses
HHOK ha ha only kidding
HTH hope that helps
IAC in any case
IAO I am outtahere
IBCNU I’ll be seeing you
IITYWMWYKM If I tell you what that means will you kiss me
L8R later
LOL laugh out loud
LTIP laugh till I puke
NPN no reply necessary
OBTW oh by the way
OMIK open mouth insert keyboard
PITA pain in the ass
RML read my lips
ROTFL rolling on the floor laughing
SH shit happens
TFN thanks for nuthin’
TIC tongue in cheek
TISEC tongue in someone else’s cheek
VI village idiot
YGBK you gotta be kidding
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Federer loses final, wins many hearts !
The scoreboard read 6-4 6-4 in favor of Nadal and many of the Federer fans have lost hope. But when The King won 4th set tie-break 10-8, I thought I would witness the greatest comeback in tennis history. But the rain and darkness played a spoilsport and Nadal won the final set 9-7. Following gives my views about the epic final.
My dear Wimbledon organizers, you are doing a great job indeed. Make the courts slower and slower and the balls heavier and heavier by the year. Kill the art of serve and volley. Who the fuck cares anyway? After all even base liners should be given equal or rather more priority as it is difficult for them to adjust to grass just 2 weeks after French Open.
Eliminate 90 min Serve-Volley classics and welcome 3 hr snoozefests. The longer the matches are aired, the more money you receive. All this can be utilized to improve home-grown British talent. So, kudos for the greatest brains. I wish Agassi was playing now and Federer in Sampras era. That way I could have watched two of the greatest players playing their best on grass. But alas, life is unfair. I dont deserve that. Rabbits have more chances of winning Wimbledon these days.
Give tennis raquets to Tyson Gay, Justin Gatlin, Asafa Powell and they will give Nadal a run for his money.
Stick the traditions up your arse. FFS, the top two players in men's tennis are playing in the final of one of the biggest sporting events with history weighing heavily on both sides and asking them to play in semi-darkness is ridiculous. I thought the organizers of the Caribbean Cricket World Cup 2008 are worse. Sorry fellas, you take the cake.
How many titles you may ever win, I'd still say Fuck you Nadal. The beastly bulls should be confined to the red dust of Roland Garros. Wimbledon is a place for class players like Boris Becker, Pete Sampras, Patrick Rafter, Goran Ivanisevic and Roger Federer (the greatest of them all) and the fiery baseliners who slug it out for each point are not welcome here. I admire your humility and like you as a person off-the-court but do not expect respect from me as a Wimbledon Champion.
*Rant Over*
My dear Federer, do not lose heart. You just don't deserve this. You should have played in one of the eras of Borg, Becker or Sampras. You will still be the Greatest tennis player of all time for the tennis connoisseurs. You are the guy with the best 'WOW' quotient. Amazing and exquisite shots flowing smooth like silk.
The scoreboard shows that HRH Federer lost by the end of the day, but what it doesn't show is the number of hearts that cried for him. And you can be sure that mine of one of those.
My dear Wimbledon organizers, you are doing a great job indeed. Make the courts slower and slower and the balls heavier and heavier by the year. Kill the art of serve and volley. Who the fuck cares anyway? After all even base liners should be given equal or rather more priority as it is difficult for them to adjust to grass just 2 weeks after French Open.
Eliminate 90 min Serve-Volley classics and welcome 3 hr snoozefests. The longer the matches are aired, the more money you receive. All this can be utilized to improve home-grown British talent. So, kudos for the greatest brains. I wish Agassi was playing now and Federer in Sampras era. That way I could have watched two of the greatest players playing their best on grass. But alas, life is unfair. I dont deserve that. Rabbits have more chances of winning Wimbledon these days.
Give tennis raquets to Tyson Gay, Justin Gatlin, Asafa Powell and they will give Nadal a run for his money.
Stick the traditions up your arse. FFS, the top two players in men's tennis are playing in the final of one of the biggest sporting events with history weighing heavily on both sides and asking them to play in semi-darkness is ridiculous. I thought the organizers of the Caribbean Cricket World Cup 2008 are worse. Sorry fellas, you take the cake.
How many titles you may ever win, I'd still say Fuck you Nadal. The beastly bulls should be confined to the red dust of Roland Garros. Wimbledon is a place for class players like Boris Becker, Pete Sampras, Patrick Rafter, Goran Ivanisevic and Roger Federer (the greatest of them all) and the fiery baseliners who slug it out for each point are not welcome here. I admire your humility and like you as a person off-the-court but do not expect respect from me as a Wimbledon Champion.
*Rant Over*
My dear Federer, do not lose heart. You just don't deserve this. You should have played in one of the eras of Borg, Becker or Sampras. You will still be the Greatest tennis player of all time for the tennis connoisseurs. You are the guy with the best 'WOW' quotient. Amazing and exquisite shots flowing smooth like silk.
The scoreboard shows that HRH Federer lost by the end of the day, but what it doesn't show is the number of hearts that cried for him. And you can be sure that mine of one of those.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest !
If you think you're dumb when it comes to computers, read this and you'll feel better. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
Dedicated to my bro who thinks that he is a noob in computers---Emkay.
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard.The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows."
The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
Dedicated to my bro who thinks that he is a noob in computers---Emkay.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Wife 1.0
Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).
At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
The features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 include:
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other system resources.
- An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.
BUG WARNING
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
BUG WORK-AROUNDS
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as LapLink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Fuck this world
Fuck You All!
Running out of ways to run,
i can't see,
i can't be,
over and over and under my skin,
all this attention is doing me in!
Fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for,
Don't belong, don't exist,
don't give a shit, don't ever judge me.
Picking throught the parts exposed,
taking shape, taking shag,
over and over and under my skin,
all this momentum is doing me in!
Fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for,
Don't belong, don't exist,
don't give a shit, don't ever judge me.
And don't you fucking judge me!
I gave you all my love, livin' in your own hate,
Drippin' hole man, lost step, no fate,
Show you nothin'but i ain't holdin' back,
Every damn word i say is a sneak attack,
When i get my hands on you,
Ain't a fucking thing you can do,
Get this coz you're never gonna get me,
I am the very disease you pretend to be!
I am the push that makes you move x4
Fuck it all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for,
don't belong, don't exist,
don't give a shit, dont ever judge me. x2
Credit: SlipKnoT
Monday, March 17, 2008
Geek Jokes
After writing serious stuff for 7 continuous days, I feel like writing the funny side of IT today. Let me start with a real conversation that happened between a Netscape technical support guy and a female customer.
Tech: Internet Technical Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your username please?
Female Customer: Yes I want to speak to the person in charge immediately!
Tech: Speaking. What can I do for you?
Female Customer: I want to complain about the pornographic bookmarks your company put in my web browser!
Tech: We didn't put any pornographic bookmarks in your web browser.
Female Customer: Oh yes you did! I'm looking at them right now!
(Tech remembers the Netscape history list and grins to himself)
Tech: Where exactly are these "bookmarks" located?
Female Customer: In Netscape!
Tech: And where exactly in Netscape would that be?
Female: In that little list that comes down when you click the little down arrow!
Tech: The one right above the Net Search button?
Female Customer: Yes that one!
Tech: Miss, that's the Netscape history list. Netscape keeps the past ten links you typed in that box. The only way to put an address in that box is for someone to physically sit at your computer and type in a web address.
Female Customer: Well I certainly didn't type in those X rated web addresses!
Tech: Well somebody did. Who else has access to your computer, and uses the Internet?
Female Customer: Just me and my husband!
(Several seconds of silence pass ... Hey! I wasn't going to say it!)
Female Customer: ........ oh ............. OOOH! ... Thank you.
(She quickly hung up)
Microsoft to sell ad space in error messages:
This is another dig at my favorite software company, Microsoft. The following news is definitely not true.
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.
"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'general protection fault' or 'illegal operation' warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror.
The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
Office buzz words:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage): What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move): Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."
Leave your comments.
Tech: Internet Technical Support this is so-and-so speaking. May I have your username please?
Female Customer: Yes I want to speak to the person in charge immediately!
Tech: Speaking. What can I do for you?
Female Customer: I want to complain about the pornographic bookmarks your company put in my web browser!
Tech: We didn't put any pornographic bookmarks in your web browser.
Female Customer: Oh yes you did! I'm looking at them right now!
(Tech remembers the Netscape history list and grins to himself)
Tech: Where exactly are these "bookmarks" located?
Female Customer: In Netscape!
Tech: And where exactly in Netscape would that be?
Female: In that little list that comes down when you click the little down arrow!
Tech: The one right above the Net Search button?
Female Customer: Yes that one!
Tech: Miss, that's the Netscape history list. Netscape keeps the past ten links you typed in that box. The only way to put an address in that box is for someone to physically sit at your computer and type in a web address.
Female Customer: Well I certainly didn't type in those X rated web addresses!
Tech: Well somebody did. Who else has access to your computer, and uses the Internet?
Female Customer: Just me and my husband!
(Several seconds of silence pass ... Hey! I wasn't going to say it!)
Female Customer: ........ oh ............. OOOH! ... Thank you.
(She quickly hung up)
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Microsoft to sell ad space in error messages:
This is another dig at my favorite software company, Microsoft. The following news is definitely not true.
Microsoft announced that it is selling advertising space in the error messages that appear in Windows. Acknowledging for the first time that the average user of their operating system encounters error messages at least several times a day, Microsoft is trying to take financial advantage of the unavoidable opportunity to make an ad impression.
"We estimate that throughout the world at any given moment several million people are getting a 'general protection fault' or 'illegal operation' warning. We will be able to generate significant revenue by including a short advertising message along with it," said Microsoft marketing director Nathan Mirror.
The Justice Department immediately indicated that they intend to investigate whether Microsoft is gaining an unfair advantage in reaching the public with this advertising by virtue of its semi-monopolistic control over error messages.
Office buzz words:
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
CHAINSAW CONSULTANT: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
SITCOMs (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage): What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
SWIPED OUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
TOURISTS: People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
TREEWARE: Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
CHIPS & SALSA: Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)
SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move): Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."
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